Walkin'

I recently celebrated my 3rd month anniversary in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, I realized that walking would cease to exist in the way that I was accustomed. I'm still lamenting over the loss of the extra calories burnt and mini cardio sessions.

Trading the NYC subway for the highway proved to be quite an adjustment. Especially considering traffic is horrendous here.

But all hope for walking didn't end completely. If there is a will there is a way!

Turns out my apartment is less than a quarter mile from Trader Joe's, Starbucks, Walgreen's, CVS, and the Salvation Army (which has half off all merchandise on Saturdays). As I walked to Trader Joe's I discovered a small strip mall with a pizzeria, meat market, dry cleaners, pastry shop, and kabob shop! Not to mention a 7-11. That's just in one direction. There are many other shops and stores nearby. And a quarter mile isn't a long walk at all considering my walks in New York City were much much longer.

I also discovered the center of town is only 1.5 miles away which takes a little under 20 minutes to walk. So I can walk to the gym, the mall, parks and a whole slew of places! And with the beautiful weather we have here, it's really a sin not to walk if time permits.

Walking is pleasant, great exercise and good for our planet. Imagine if more citizens decided to walk! Perhaps traffic wouldn't be as crazy.

Another awesome opportunity to walk materialized by accident. In order to meet new people I decided to check out groups on MeetUp. To my surprise; walking groups!!

Apparently, Los Angeles is filled with secret stairs from back in the days when public transportation and walking were normal (why oh why did it end?!?!). Anyway, there is a group that walks all around up and down the lost staircases. During our last MeetUp we walked 6 miles!

My new city is really awesome, and the biggest shame is all the things I miss while zipping around in the car (even though I do love her - Hi Hana!). On my various walks I have discovered so many gems that I wouldn't have had I stayed in my car.

WALKIN'!!!!

My quest for walking will not end! I will find more ways to walk in Los Angeles.

The Lost Stairs of Los Angeles. This used to be a creek...

You will never work in this town again....

Maybe I won't after all I have to get off my chest. Heck I'm not working in this town now! So here we go...

I have been in the entertainment business for most of my life. I didn't realize it was a business during the early days, but it actually was.

It became a business the minute my Mother started shelling out hundreds of bucks per month towards ballet, tap, jazz, and piano. That didn't include all the shoes, costumes, tights, and music books. Not to mention all the waiting around for me during lessons and classes (thank you Mommy!).

Money is always going to be an issue. In a business where 99% of those in the business are not employed IN the business of entertainment, it makes for a desperate situation.

Lately the scales have come off my eyes. Leading me to many questions...

1) Why do we allow people to judge us and as a result change to be what we think they want us to be? I remember when I was in pageants many coaches would tell us "Different set of judges will produce different winner results." Any of us could be winners. At any time. So why do we try so hard to be what they want us to be (or what we think at least) when each person has their own opinion of what is pleasing or acceptable or award worthy. It is a business yes, but sometimes the folks in the room just don't like how a particular performer looks, or dresses. Or they don't like the color of our skin.

2) Why do people think they can pay performers little to nothing for their skills yet pay other personnel for their time. I have been in projects where the actors don't get paid but the DP, Script Supervisor, CD and others behind the scenes get cash compensation. Not to say these people are not worthy of pay. But performers work hard at their craft just like anyone else in the business.

3) Why do we take abuse? I have been yelled at, sexually harassed, nearly assaulted and manipulated but teachers, directors, casting directors, and fellow performers. When I was sexually harassed I didn't
tell anyone because I was afraid I wouldn't get further in the business. There is no reason to take abuse at all. If taking abuse means I don't make this business a career, so be it.

4) Why do we feel the starving artist model is the only road for performers? We go without health insurance, take day jobs we hate, eat like birds, and basically live in poverty to support our dreams.

5) Speaking of supporting our dreams. Why do some teachers, schools, and workshops take advantage of the dreams we have by either charging extraordinary amounts of money for classes or guilting performers into taking classes. One cannot gauge how "devoted" a performer is to a career based on whether or not they take expensive classes. Not to say study isn't important. IT IS! But don't claim to be the only one with the answers. Or question a person's passion for a career based on their finances.

6) Why do fellow performers cut their eyes at "the competition" at auditions? Aren't we all in the same boat? To revisit question #1, if we know that the people in the room already have an idea of what they want, then all we can do is bring the best to the room and forget about the others in the waiting area. Heck make a friend, we need each other in this business.

7) Why do we feel we need to spend half our paycheck on the business? Last year I made $185.00 as an actor yet the expenses I put into the business was close to $1000. The year before that I made $75.00 but my outgoing expenses were close to $3000. What's wrong with this picture? I understand investing in business, but at a point something has to give. I could have spent that $3000 on student loans I still haven't paid off. This year I am not putting nearly as much as last year. I passionately want to make it in the business but at the same time I am not willing to go without health care or basic needs to pay for the business that isn't giving me a return on my investment.

Thank you and in the words of the eloquent Tosca (translated of course)...

I lived for art, I lived for love,

I never harmed a living soul!

Drops the mic...

10 months?

It has been awhile! I am so awful at blog upkeep! One reason is because I moved, more to come. Perhaps...

CrossFit

Thinking this blog should be renamed to include fitness somehow. Fitness has increasingly become a HUGE part of who I am.

Two years ago when I realized my metabolism was changing for a third time in my life I got very serious about getting my body together. Now that I have hit a milestone age it has become even more important to stay on top of things.

Don't get me wrong, it's not only for vanity sake. Now I can run up a pair of Subway stairs without getting winded. This was not true two years ago. My knees don't hurt, my back doesn't ache. And ok so yes for vanity sake I am wearing a size two again.

EAT! And yes, I still eat and make yummy foods. Now I must make my own foods all the time since the no-process food rule is strictly in effect.

PRAY! Of course this blog would not be complete without sharing some spiritual truth from my life.

As I posted in a previous entry, I'm still getting through the dismantling of my former cult life. Still finding it hard to commit to a home church. I feel awful about this sometimes and other times I don't. One thing is true, my faith in GOD has not changed.

But just like the GOD I know, He showed up in a place I would not have expected.

Saturday - CrossFit. First, let me explain CrossFit to you. It's the most insane workout I have ever taken in my life. The physical feats that we complete are no less than brutal. I've seen strong guys just fall to the floor in exaustion. It's also addictive. Go figure.

On this particular Saturday the instructor decided to give us weighted bars to put on our backs and run around a huge Armory building. My weight was relatively light (45 lbs I'm guessing). But some other CrossFiters had upwards of 95 lbs. ON THEIR BACKS! After we got back from running we had to complete 30 various squat exercises. This happened a total of three times. He didn't tell us that from the beginning, he never does or else we will get our minds all messed up and quit.

AGGGGGG!

At my second run around the Armory. Realizing that I don't pray nearly enough during these insane exercises. I began to pray. When I prayed I was given the following...

Christ carried a Cross uphill after being beaten bloody, that weighed more than this weighted bar you're carrying. He did that for you.

WHAATTT?!?! WOW!

Then I ran further saying outloud YES! THANK YOU! I kid you not, then I see a thorn on the ground as I ran towards the finish line. After getting through the squats realizing I had to do this again I continued to pray and God kept giving me spiritual truths to get through this brutal exercise. "I can do all things through Christ" etc.

At one point I started getting all teary over this spiritual experience. I WAS HAVING CHURCH! WORSHIP right there during this class. I ran the last lap with more energy and speed than the first!

AMEN!

At the conclusion I thought to myself. That's right this certainly was CROSS.FIT.

Lesson learned?

God will reach us where we are, and give us life lessons whether or not we sit in a pew or attend an exercise class. He's everywhere! I still need to get myself into a church but God knows that too. Thankful for the way he worked during my class on Saturday. My God is real! Amen...

S.E.A.L.S Domestic Warfare Final Trailer

A Year and A Decade

It's interesting how age and time changes things. Changes what is important and what isn't. Who should be included in my life and who should not.

I find that as the years go by, I have less of a desire to allow negative and damaging influences into my life. I am not at all perfect but I do know how I like to be treated.

There are not too many people in this world that I trust. The few I trust aren't even trustworthy. I'm sure they would agree if they are aware of the human condition.  Jealousy, hate, selfishness. They get in the way. And not one of us can say we do not possess these flaws. Not one.

And they hurt people.

None of us can avoid hurt in life. However, when hurtful warning signs arise one must listen to that still small voice and make distance. Physical or otherwise.

I want to be close to those who will lift up instead of drag down, who encourage instead of discourage. Who speak words of positivity and love instead of negativity and malice.

Is that too much to ask?

Do people like this exist?

Are there people who do not resemble leeches out there?

If so then I want more and more leechlessness in my life.

And I want to be more of that too!

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

2012...

Watch this!