I always thought of myself as Black until my freshman year in college when people started calling me African American. I still find this perplexing as I know there is such thing as a Japanese American, a German American, or a Mexican American. In my opinion an African American is a person who immigrated to America from Africa.
Black Americans did not immigrate here. We were brought here against our will. We built this country from the beginning. At the same time Native Americans (who are really the only ones who can truly call themselves Americans if in fact that is what they called this - their land) were here before any of us.
Since we built this land, in many cases were care givers to the early presidents, and have the same blood as the "founders" of this land through the forced or mutual sexual activities between slave and owner.
Why is our history segregated?
Why is our history squeezed into one month in the year?
Our history IS American History. Slavery IS apart of American History. The Civil Rights Movement IS apart of American History.
It seems that there could be or should be a re-thinking of how we teach our youth about history of all types. Music History, Art History, World History. Instead of focusing on the Western side of the story, can we integrate all of the stories? Can we see history from the point of view of the Native American, South African, Chinese, Brazilian?
During my education it was made clear that the only valid history was that belonging to the European and their descendants (even on this side of the pond). When I studied Music History in college and graduate school it was focused solely on Western tradition with a splash of World Music. If a student wanted to learn about World Music it was a separate class. Lumping all the rest of the world into a single class. As if to say this isn't the "real" or "mainstream" Music History. In fact, I'm really not sure why American schools focus so much on the European tradition anyway since our Music History is reflective of World Music with all the influences due to immigration and slavery.
I really wish we could stop segregating our stories. I wish we could see each of our histories as reflective and inverse to one another. A history of our people includes all of it. All stories. And not just a story to tell one month in the year.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Can You Hear My Voice? Part 1
It occurred to me that many of us may not know what our true voices sound like. How many times have you recorded your voice, heard the play back only to say "I sound like that?" Of course there are many physical/auditory reasons for that but bear with me as I explore this idea...
It is my opinion that the only true voice we ever possessed was at birth. That first cry. It was authentic, unrestrained, even welcomed with enthusiasm "hooray she/he is alive." But then things start to change. Mom and Dad start to "hush" the baby, start to wonder what each cry means, assign roles to each cry. As we get even older we are taught about the inside and outside voices and when to use them. Then we are told never to use a certain tone with our elders. As we age even further into puberty the girls are encouraged to keep a girly voice and boys will lament for not having bass in the voice at age 12.
But our literal voices are not the only thing we alter. What we say with our voices starts to become taboo. In my household I rarely had a say. Shut up and/or stupid. These words met my ideas. So I started to keep things to myself. "Quiet my voice."School wasn't any better. I remember writing a paper on date rape in the 8th grade. Don't ask me how I knew about something like that, let's say that I was mature beyond my years or perhaps clairvoyant. My male teacher didn't seem to like the paper and gave me a C without any red markings. When I inquired his behavior was so ill a meeting with the principal was warranted.
My former church was an extension of family and school. When I tried pointing out a sin by an authority figure it was met with silence. Thankfully GOD hears my voice otherwise I would have ended up in a coffin over all the ill in the church I attended for many years.
I'm sure most of you have stories to tell about not being heard, taken seriously, or plain told to shut your face.
After years of silencing, molding, and controlling the voice, where does that leave us?
Can we recognize it anymore?
Can we even hear our voice?
Can anyone else hear us?
Really hear us?
It is my opinion that the only true voice we ever possessed was at birth. That first cry. It was authentic, unrestrained, even welcomed with enthusiasm "hooray she/he is alive." But then things start to change. Mom and Dad start to "hush" the baby, start to wonder what each cry means, assign roles to each cry. As we get even older we are taught about the inside and outside voices and when to use them. Then we are told never to use a certain tone with our elders. As we age even further into puberty the girls are encouraged to keep a girly voice and boys will lament for not having bass in the voice at age 12.
But our literal voices are not the only thing we alter. What we say with our voices starts to become taboo. In my household I rarely had a say. Shut up and/or stupid. These words met my ideas. So I started to keep things to myself. "Quiet my voice."School wasn't any better. I remember writing a paper on date rape in the 8th grade. Don't ask me how I knew about something like that, let's say that I was mature beyond my years or perhaps clairvoyant. My male teacher didn't seem to like the paper and gave me a C without any red markings. When I inquired his behavior was so ill a meeting with the principal was warranted.
My former church was an extension of family and school. When I tried pointing out a sin by an authority figure it was met with silence. Thankfully GOD hears my voice otherwise I would have ended up in a coffin over all the ill in the church I attended for many years.
I'm sure most of you have stories to tell about not being heard, taken seriously, or plain told to shut your face.
After years of silencing, molding, and controlling the voice, where does that leave us?
Can we recognize it anymore?
Can we even hear our voice?
Can anyone else hear us?
Really hear us?
Monday, January 13, 2014
Meat is the Devil
Since I haven't touched on the Eat part of my blog title in awhile, here's an EAT entry!
I have been a Vegetarian, Vegan, Pollo Vegetarian, and every variation in between.
None of them particularly stuck, since I'm eating meat again. However, I don't remember being particularly outspoken about any of those dietary choices until recently.
I find diet as touchy a subject as religion. Vegans will say eating meat is of the devil, while meat eaters will harass vegetarians regarding their choice to abstain from meat. I figure do what's best for you. Eat meat if you please or don't.
As my fitness goals have evolved I have adopted a "clean" diet. It basically means I don't eat anything with long chemical names or additives I don't recognize. It also means cutting down on sugars, "bad" fats and simple carbohydrates. I also find my body doesn't like dairy despite my love for cheeses of all types.
At the same time, I found a group of people in CrossFit circles who adopt a Paleolithic Diet. Which is very similar to a clean diet. However, just like Vegans and the like they get pretty militant about their choice of diet.
At the end of the day I think people have to do what's best for their body. However, I think many of us can agree that eating any product laced with chemicals and additives couldn't be good for the body. Because I have adopted several diets I can say that many well meaning vegans, vegetarians and the like will eat meat substitutes that contain chemicals and additives and high sodium yet frown at a meat or cheese eater. In fact some veggie burgers contain upwards of 16% of the daily sodium allowance. Not to mention processed soy which is not a great alternative.
Honestly, whether or not you choose to eat meat is up to you, however if you need a meat substitute are you really in it for the right reasons?
Not to harp on the vegetarians and vegans because having been both I don't have ill feelings. It's just that I have found those in the Paleo, Vegan and Vegetarian camps to be the most judgemental about their chosen diet. They are pretty quick to point out the ills of any other diet but theirs.
However, I would like to suggest that no matter what diet you adopt for your life consider what you eat. One thing I hope we can all agree on, eating anything containing the following is actually the real DEVIL...
I have been a Vegetarian, Vegan, Pollo Vegetarian, and every variation in between.
None of them particularly stuck, since I'm eating meat again. However, I don't remember being particularly outspoken about any of those dietary choices until recently.
I find diet as touchy a subject as religion. Vegans will say eating meat is of the devil, while meat eaters will harass vegetarians regarding their choice to abstain from meat. I figure do what's best for you. Eat meat if you please or don't.
As my fitness goals have evolved I have adopted a "clean" diet. It basically means I don't eat anything with long chemical names or additives I don't recognize. It also means cutting down on sugars, "bad" fats and simple carbohydrates. I also find my body doesn't like dairy despite my love for cheeses of all types.
At the same time, I found a group of people in CrossFit circles who adopt a Paleolithic Diet. Which is very similar to a clean diet. However, just like Vegans and the like they get pretty militant about their choice of diet.
At the end of the day I think people have to do what's best for their body. However, I think many of us can agree that eating any product laced with chemicals and additives couldn't be good for the body. Because I have adopted several diets I can say that many well meaning vegans, vegetarians and the like will eat meat substitutes that contain chemicals and additives and high sodium yet frown at a meat or cheese eater. In fact some veggie burgers contain upwards of 16% of the daily sodium allowance. Not to mention processed soy which is not a great alternative.
Honestly, whether or not you choose to eat meat is up to you, however if you need a meat substitute are you really in it for the right reasons?
Not to harp on the vegetarians and vegans because having been both I don't have ill feelings. It's just that I have found those in the Paleo, Vegan and Vegetarian camps to be the most judgemental about their chosen diet. They are pretty quick to point out the ills of any other diet but theirs.
However, I would like to suggest that no matter what diet you adopt for your life consider what you eat. One thing I hope we can all agree on, eating anything containing the following is actually the real DEVIL...
• Bleached Flour
• Calcium Peroxide
• High-Fructose Corn Syrup
• Monosodium Glutamate (MSG)
• Partially Hydrogenated Oil
• Polydextrose
• Potassium Sorbate
• Silicon Dioxide
• Sodium Benzoate
• Sucralose
• Xanthan Gum
If you don't believe me, maybe you will believe Dr. OZ...
Happy Eating!
Thursday, December 26, 2013
2013 Reflection - Wait and See!
My previous year end reflections have been filled with paragraph after paragraph of accomplishments. Reading them makes me dizzy.
2013 started with a move from NYC to LA. I was less concerned with career or monetary gain and more concerned with nicer weather and a slower pace.
So much for slow.
I landed in LA.
Within two weeks I had a place to live, a car and a full time job. By spring I had my apartment all set up, although it's still purposely sparse.
So much for slow.
I landed in LA.
Within two weeks I had a place to live, a car and a full time job. By spring I had my apartment all set up, although it's still purposely sparse.
The community building was and is the hardest part. Unlike NYC getting plugged into a community in LA is difficult. It's isolating and lonely, which is strange for me. Three months into my arrival I realized making friends was not going to happen. People in LA don't have the best follow up skills. So after last minute cancelled plans and folks plain ole ignoring my texts/calls, I started going solo. I took regular beach visits, hikes, and simply explored my new city.
Alone time was multiplied when I lost my full time job in September. Having a place to go everyday allowed me to feel apart of something and connect with people. Otherwise I could spend day after day as a crabby hermit. I haven't been without work for more than a month since I got out of college, so I thought a new job would materialize quickly. I thought wrong, four months later and I'm still without full time work.
The slower pace plus the loss of full time work created the perfect catalyst for spiritual and personal reflection.
I was forced to stop.
In NYC 16-18 hour days were normal. In addition to working a full time and part time job, I had rehearsals, classes or performances at night. That was beginning to happen in LA as well.
I was forced to stop.
In NYC 16-18 hour days were normal. In addition to working a full time and part time job, I had rehearsals, classes or performances at night. That was beginning to happen in LA as well.
The last few months have revealed more of myself than I thought possible. Portions of the belief system thrust upon me by others has been broken down. As a result, I feel even more free to be me, plus I'm making choices based on what I personally believe. I have been able to rest, not just sleep but moments where I can sit with a cup of tea and not think about the time or where I need to go in a hurry. I didn't even rest like this after surgery in 2006, I was preparing new songs to sing for auditions and performances.
I participated in the 21-day meditation challenge which has opened up the world of mediation to me. I have continued beyond the 21 days on my own which has been really helpful during this uncertain time. I'm at a point where I am willing to live with minimal material items in order to live a life of simplicity. I am also willing to reassess my goals as a performer (more on that later). This year has allowed me to simply reassess life. For the first time I cannot say what 2014 will bring because this journey has allowed me to start letting go of expectations.
I think I will just wait and see...
I think I will just wait and see...
Friday, December 13, 2013
My Christmas Wish
It's been a long time since I made a Christmas list. As a child I wrote down everything I dreamed of as I combed through thick catalogues filled with toys. I didn't get everything I wanted but Santa (or Mom and Dad) did a pretty good job.
I don't remember what I asked for, I don't even remember what I received. Wait, I do remember the Barbie Dream Pool and the pink Huffy Bicycle. Lately, material items are not as important, instead I appreciate the love of family and close friends.
With that in mind, here is my adult Christmas wish list...
I wish for an overwhelming, overflowing amount of love, joy, peace, blessings and abundance in every single area of life.
And this is my wish for you too!
Happy Holidays!
Saturday, December 7, 2013
From Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inaugural Speech
Original Quote by Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us!
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others!
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