Believe In Yourself

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if you believe, within your heart you'll know

that no one can change, the path that you must go

believe what you feel, and know you're right because

the time will come around, when you'll say it's yours

believe there's a reason to be, believe you can make time stand still

and know from the moment you try, if you believe, then you'll be there.

~lyrics from the musical The Wiz

I started to learn this song for an audition a few weeks ago. I always loved The Wiz and remember the end of the musical when Glinda, the good witch 

sings this song to Dorothy. 

I feel like Dorothy right now. I don't mean like being swept away by a storm necessarily. Although I do feel as if a storm has swept me away sometimes.

Rather, this whole believing in myself and that no one can change my path. Sometimes in life it can appear that those who hold 'the power' in this world can alter the path. 

My path...

But, I struggle to believe sometimes....

Believe that my day job circumstances will change

Believe that I will be able make it in this seemingly impossible entertainment business

Believe that I can make a perfect curry dish (really!)

Just believe! That's easier said than done. It would be nice to have my own personal Glinda to sing that song when I feel like all hope is gone!

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Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

Never Fear!

God didn't give us a cowardly spirit but a spirit of power, love, and good judgment.

About two weeks ago I became the proud owner of the iPhone. After months of saving and selling items on ebay. It was mine! And it also helped to have the new every two on my cell phone contract.

Exactly a week ago someone tried to steal my iPhone!

I was sitting on the train listening to music and reading on my iPhone when a complete idiot yanked my beloved iPhone from my hands and proceeded to run from the train. Thank GOD he dropped it on the way out, so I quickly retrieved my iPhone and cursed him something awful. I was on my way to church and rather embarrassed that I was driven to that. But it made me mad! 

For two reasons...

First of all, I should have known not to read like that on the train because it's common knowledge thieves scope out victims on the train. Also, my wrist splint was a give away too. Perhaps he thought my arm was weak. Second of all, this thief had no idea how hard I work to obtain the little I have. I work 2 jobs and sometimes 3 at a time. And I save like crazy. Shop for sales. Take good care of my shoes and clothing so I don't have to buy so often. Hardly ever eat out. You get the point...

How dare he snatch my hard work out of my hands. How dare he! But, as I was on my way to church I did pray for him and his circumstances. Who knows what he might be going through to actually have the nerve to steal like that. 

But as I dealt with the aftermath of that violation. I realized it really scared me! I had flashbacks of the incident for two nights following. And now I clutch my purse closer and closer as I sit on the train. I must look paranoid or something. 

But I must remember...

God didn't give me the spirit of fear!

S a warning to all riding the subway while reading your iPad, iPhone or listening to an iTouch or similar devices. Don't do it! Or at least don't read them while sitting next to the door. Always be aware of your surroundings too!

And remember...

If you see something, say something....

LOL!

Moving Along!

My apologies for the silence....

Turns out I moved unexpectantly. Well expectantly and unexpectantly all at the same time. I will explain...

In Jan. 2009 I put in an application for government subsidized housing in Manhattan. I completely forgot about applying for this particular building until I received a phone call sometime before Christmas.

Long story short, I was approved for the program! So between the end of December and the beginning of February I was in a huge wind tunnel trying to fight my way to the other end. The other end being the absolute perfect apartment!

I was pretty hesitant until I got the chance to view the apartment in person. Oh boy!!! Love at first sight. And I got the "I can hardly catch my breath I'm so taken aback" feeling (like on the "move that bus" show - really!). I cried all the way home on the train. Thanking God for the opportunity to not only live in Manhattan, but in a brand new building! A one bedroom! An elevator! The list goes on and on...

But...

I had a lease with my apartment in Queens. After resigning to the fact that I couldn't afford to move if I had to use a broker, which is a horrible reality here in NYC, I signed a 2 year lease. 

The landlord didn't make it very easy to move on...

So....

I told everyone I knew about my old apartment, hoping someone needed a place to live. After completely freaking out I got in touch with a broker. And...

I must preface...

This is where the conversations with God come into play...

You might be asking yourself "why would you agree to a new apartment knowing you had a lease at another?" Well, I talked to God about that. I said, "If this isn't for me don't allow the approval". See, I have awful credit after this situation with an evil credit consolidation company that was found guilty of operating illegally in New York State. Phew! Anyway, I though that after viewing my credit report the program would turn me down.

They didn't. So prayer answered. 

But!!!

I was so scared when it came time to sign the lease for the new apartment. I had NO ONE to take over the old apartment lease. NO ONE! But I kept talking to God and finally got such a strong message from Him that I wholeheartedly plunged into the decision to sign the new lease regardless of the circumstance. 

Jan. 31 - I signed the new lease...

Feb. 1 - The broker I mentioned above found a new tenant for my old lease...

Faith in Action: faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Tell me about it!

Everything fell into place perfectly!

Now a week after I moved in, it feels like I have always been here. Even the neighborhood feels like home already. 

I am loving this change of direction! 

Why Eat Sing Pray?

You may be wondering why I chose to name this blog Eat Sing Pray...


Or maybe not...


Eat...


I love to eat but I love to cook even more. As this blog develops I will talk about what I'm making in the kitchen.

While I cook I...


Sing... 


I started singing while cooking after a coach gave me advise about getting out of my head as I sing. I tend to think too much so chopping onions allows me to sing without judgement and second guessing.

Pray...


I pray daily, sometimes minute by minute depending on my day or mood. Constant communication with God is the most important part of my life; as well as my relationship with Him.

So there you have it!

It chose me!!

When my Mother was pregnant with me, she says I lept in her belly as the music played during a concert she attended. 


I guess that's where it all started...


See, as much as I try I cannot avoid this tug, pull, yank...


You get the picture.


I will attempt to describe the 'feeling' I get while performing or rehearsing... 


It feels like my body, soul, and spirit all agree. There's a feeling of not only peace, but symmetry, calm, excitement, certainty all at once. Everytime I get that feeling I know this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life


Enough with the poetic...


This is hard.


I spend most of my time working in an industry that is unrelated to my real desire to perform. I face rejection alot. I spend more time pursuing rather than being pursued. Sounds alot like dating huh? 


So why did I choose this?


I didn't chose this.


I would be crazy to chose this.


Maybe I am crazy?


Most people have a clear path or natural career and life progression. 1-2 years entry level, 2-3 middle management, 3-5 years management....house in the burbs with 2.5 kids and a pup named Fido....yada yada...


Not that the above has any appeal to me.


No, this chose me. 


I have tried to run away from this.


Everytime I run I get pulled back in. Sort of reminds me of that line in The Godfather Part III "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in" ~Michael Corleone 


The pull, or the feeling of everything being right keeps me coming back for more.


~*~sigh~*~


As I continue on this chosen path, I pray for the strength to endure. 


And be thankful for the opportunity... 


to be chosen...

New Year Resolutions?

No, I didn't make one this year. I don't usually make resolutions since my goal setting takes place year round. However, I find that the new year marks a new beginning for me. 


Here's to 2011 and new beginnings!!

2010 a year in review...

This year has been a very good year. God has been incredibly good to me.

• My involvement in philanthropic activities increased this year. I am more aware of troubling issues in our world and as a result I feel drawn to help as much as I can.

• I made an effort to see more live theatre and performances. Driving Miss Daisy (including a meet and greet with Mr. James Earl Jones afterwards!), Race (including a meet and greet with David Allen Grier), Fela, Memphis (had the opportunity to chat with James Monroe Inglehart after the show), and The Scottsboro Boys to name a few. I am also looking forward to doing more of this in 2011. First show of 2011...In The Heights.

• I finally got out of credit card debt in March 2010. THANK GOD!!! Next goal is to get out of student loan debt by 2012.

• I started attending a new church after several years of figuring out where I belong. I have gone through a lot of changes since 2006 (this is a very long story). God is faithful and never changes which is a huge comfort!

• I tried Speed Dating for the first time. I may try this again in 2011.

• I started to 'network' more, by attending various events and activities. The goal wasn’t just to meet more people but to dwell outside of my comfort zone.

• Said goodbye to my Mom (and Kobe) who lived with me for almost 2 years. It was a great time to get to know my Mom again (as an adult this time) and to witness her transition to a new chapter in her life.

• Had the opportunity to travel with my sister. We went to London together in 2007 which was alot of fun. We did it again this year in Boston!

• Began the transition from classical singing to varied musical genres. I am very excited to see where my voice will finally land. Or perhaps I will allow it to wander and morph like a chameleon at a moment’s notice!

• Started going to Farmer’s Market for my produce. What an awesome change for my health and the environment too! I also started taking my veggie waste to the compost bins. Imagine garbage that never smells since there’s no icky rotting veggie waste (the veggie waste lives in the freezer until compost day). I love talking to the farmers who grow and pick the food I will eat. Priceless experience!! As a result, more raw veggies and fruits for my diet.

• Had a family reunion under not so pleasant circumstances. But this helped me understand more clearly how short life can be. And that family is a precious thing.

• Started to seriously get back into acting. I made some pretty awesome headway in this regard (JL Music Video!!! woot-woot!!!). But, I found out how much I need to learn about this challenging craft. Just like in singing, I will figure out where to land. This is becoming clearer as 2011 approaches.

• Went skydiving! Indoors albeit, but it was still super cool! Maybe ‘real’ skydiving is in store for 2011.

• Challenged myself physically by getting serious about fitness. No more yo-yo exercising, especially after topping out at close to 150 pounds in April 2010 (at 5’4” this isn’t good). Enough was enough so I lost 16 pounds. My goal for 2011 is to continue to push myself and continue to increase my fitness level. I also plan to get certified in personal and group training. I also fell in love with boxing! Perhaps 2011 will bring on full contact boxing!

2011...