I have been in the entertainment business for most of my life. I didn't realize it was a business during the early days, but it actually was.
It became a business the minute my Mother started shelling out hundreds of bucks per month towards ballet, tap, jazz, and piano. That didn't include all the shoes, costumes, tights, and music books. Not to mention all the waiting around for me during lessons and classes (thank you Mommy!).
Money is always going to be an issue. In a business where 99% of those in the business are not employed IN the business of entertainment, it makes for a desperate situation.
Lately the scales have come off my eyes. Leading me to many questions...
1) Why do we allow people to judge us and as a result change to be what we think they want us to be? I remember when I was in pageants many coaches would tell us "Different set of judges will produce different winner results." Any of us could be winners. At any time. So why do we try so hard to be what they want us to be (or what we think at least) when each person has their own opinion of what is pleasing or acceptable or award worthy. It is a business yes, but sometimes the folks in the room just don't like how a particular performer looks, or dresses. Or they don't like the color of our skin.
2) Why do people think they can pay performers little to nothing for their skills yet pay other personnel for their time. I have been in projects where the actors don't get paid but the DP, Script Supervisor, CD and others behind the scenes get cash compensation. Not to say these people are not worthy of pay. But performers work hard at their craft just like anyone else in the business.
3) Why do we take abuse? I have been yelled at, sexually harassed, nearly assaulted and manipulated but teachers, directors, casting directors, and fellow performers. When I was sexually harassed I didn't
tell anyone because I was afraid I wouldn't get further in the business. There is no reason to take abuse at all. If taking abuse means I don't make this business a career, so be it.
4) Why do we feel the starving artist model is the only road for performers? We go without health insurance, take day jobs we hate, eat like birds, and basically live in poverty to support our dreams.
5) Speaking of supporting our dreams. Why do some teachers, schools, and workshops take advantage of the dreams we have by either charging extraordinary amounts of money for classes or guilting performers into taking classes. One cannot gauge how "devoted" a performer is to a career based on whether or not they take expensive classes. Not to say study isn't important. IT IS! But don't claim to be the only one with the answers. Or question a person's passion for a career based on their finances.
6) Why do fellow performers cut their eyes at "the competition" at auditions? Aren't we all in the same boat? To revisit question #1, if we know that the people in the room already have an idea of what they want, then all we can do is bring the best to the room and forget about the others in the waiting area. Heck make a friend, we need each other in this business.
7) Why do we feel we need to spend half our paycheck on the business? Last year I made $185.00 as an actor yet the expenses I put into the business was close to $1000. The year before that I made $75.00 but my outgoing expenses were close to $3000. What's wrong with this picture? I understand investing in business, but at a point something has to give. I could have spent that $3000 on student loans I still haven't paid off. This year I am not putting nearly as much as last year. I passionately want to make it in the business but at the same time I am not willing to go without health care or basic needs to pay for the business that isn't giving me a return on my investment.
Thank you and in the words of the eloquent Tosca (translated of course)...
I lived for art, I lived for love,
I never harmed a living soul!
Drops the mic...
