One of my fondest memories as a child was watching SNL with my Mom. Staying up late and snuggling in bed to watch was so special. I suppose some of the characters were etched in my mind because as I grew, reenacting scenes with my sister proved to be very entertaining and interesting. I watched folks like Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal, Martin Short, Gilda Radner, Jon Belushi, Mary Gross. I could go on and on. They entertained and inspired. But even though I loved performing, I never thought that I could do what the folks on SNL did.
Until I was chosen to join a prominent improv sketch group...
During the audition I had no idea what I was doing. Heck, I was an actor/singer/dancer. But improv?
What? My favorite part of the audition was the singing improv, I made up a song that actually made partial sense. I got the call to join the touring company in my hometown and freaked out! I guess I did something right?
What started as an exciting journey ended up being horribly difficult.
Our director wasn't well. Not exaggerating, he had a self professed mental issue. There would be times when he was kind and patient. But other times he would treat the cast in cruel ways. There was often liquor involved. Of course it didn't help that our theatre doubled as a bar. Sometimes we would drink to perform better or to get out of our heads for scenes. The final blow was when he did something that I should have rightfully pressed charges for.
After word about his behavior got back to our producer, the cast was chastised. A huge part of improv is supporting your fellow improvisers. When my cast mates did not support and protect me, they broke a rule of improv. And a basic rule of life. Don't stand by and allow abuse to happen without doing something about it.
Eventually I moved on and continued to perform. But not improv. In fact, I felt that I wasn't any good. I think it was a way of avoiding the pain. Somehow I equated improv with failure, abuse, and disappointment. I ended up avoiding the art form all together.
Until recently...
I've always been a pretty heady person. Over thinker, analytical, weigh all the options before proceeding. I bring this to all my work. But this is an awful combination when the creative side tries to enter the frame. I tried a method acting technique, which helped to access my emotional freedom but still something was off.
My first dip back into improv came while I was singing opera oddly enough. Again, since I was in my head all the time I tried an opera improvisation class. Still I had a block. Once more I tried another class, while I was in New York City. A short three week course with a show at the end. Little by little my confidence was restored and I began to see I could learn to like this again.
As I made the transition to LA I was looking to connect to the acting community. But I took advice from several actor friends about how important improv is out here. I noticed plenty of the auditions were improv based. So I took the plunge to find a place where I could regroup and relearn improv. After visiting some of the larger schools I settled on a very small and supportive studio. I felt I could not only learn and grow, but feel safe.
However, I didn't realize improv would also provide spiritual restoration. A local improv group provides free improv classes every week to the masses. This group happens to be affiliated with a church. For those of you who follow this blog know my struggle with church. When I found out this group was affiliated with a church I was sceptical. I imagined alter calls and mandatory chapel service. Not so. In fact, they have a prayer portion but it's very chill. No pressure and no judgement. It's interesting because these improv classes are more like church to me than when I went to church. I even started praying with the group afterwards. And unlike my former church experience, I don't feel judged but loved, supported and safe.
So there you have it, my bumpy improv road. I'm enjoying being silly and crazy! I'm also enjoying laughing at me again. But most of all I am glad to feel safe and supported. Who knows maybe something like SNL is possible after all.
