To Facebook or NOT to Facebook?

Even though Facebook has been around for a relatively short amount of time, it seems like forever. Since Facebook has taken over the world it seems if you aren't on Facebook you don't exist. These days when people meet they say "I'll find you on Facebook" instead of "I'll call you!" Don't get me wrong, I love Facebook and what it has done for the world. But I wonder if a good thing can get out of hand?

I joined Facebook in 2006. I remember clearly because I was recuperating from major surgery, pretty much bed bound and bored. After I joined, I found a whole new world with old friends and acquaintances waiting to reconnect. And to get in my business.

For the most part my Facebook experience has been great, but there are a few problems I have with our increasing connection to Facebook and the disconnect from basic human interaction. Facebook isn't the only culprit, there are many technological reasons for the human disconnect. Be it texting, Twittering, Instagraming. Look around at how many heads are down and focused on tiny smartphone screens tunneling their lives into a less than 5 inch screen. A chiropractor's dream!

In fact, I tend to question and shy away from anything that creates a massive following without question. Not much for drinking the kool aid anymore. Besides, sometimes the BS factor involved in the whole scene is a little too much for me to stomach.

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Not everyone on Facebook is a friend. Even before Facebook I had very few friends so it perplexed me when my friend list increased to almost 1000 people. How can it be humanly possible to maintain any kind of intimacy when there are that many people on your friend list?

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There was a conservative religious phase I went through a few years back (I touched on this in a previous post). When I responded to a friend's post on Facebook a former religious leader saw my profile picture and questioned my friend about how I was dressed. Then went on to question my spiritual strength, and on and on. WAIT. Excuse me? Back in the day this person wouldn't have access to any of my pictures. I mean honestly that religious leader should not have been on Facebook if he listened to his own sermons. OUCH. Thank you Facebook.

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Have you ever had a Facebook friend shun you in the flesh? Kid you not, I had a friend on Facebook that I actually knew in the flesh before we became Facebook friends. However, when I saw this person in public they hardly acknowledged my existence. That is plain rude. Delete.

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Just because there are 20-30 friends in common between us, it doesn't mean WE should be Facebook friends. I stopped accepting requests from strangers no matter how many Facebook friends we had in common. I knew it was too much when someone yelled my name in the middle of Times Square, I turn around and didn't recognize the person. We were Facebook friends. Embarrassing!

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I always felt the need to censor myself, because inevitably there would be some smart ass who would hijack my status updates. Usually these were people I didn't know in person or many years had passed since we connected. Some of my posts were taken out of context or where misunderstood completely. This is when I discovered the limited and restricted profile functions.

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I am an actor and inevitably Facebook friend-ed actors or others in the industry. I could have been dead or held hostage by zombies but did they know? Nope. They are more interested in posting show information all over MY WALL. It's like going over to a friends' house without permission to paint their walls. A very ugly color. The nerve. Facebook can be less about friends and more about self promotion.

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Random messages from guys talking about "You're so beautiful, can we be friends?" Uh-NO. Then I had a guy I friend-ed because we had 30 friends in common only to delete him after inappropriate comments about sexuality in response to status updates that had nothing to do with sexuality. This is when I discovered the block feature.

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Speaking of blocking. I stopped allowing my profile to remain public because someone got a hold of my cell phone number on a mutual friends wall. She liked him and thought I did too so proceeded to text "he doesn't like you so why don't I stop commenting on his posts". O.K. Delete and BLOCK.

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This has brought me to my final conclusion. As I decrease my friend list to less than 35, one fact remains. Those who are my friends will be my friends regardless of our friendship status on Facebook. In fact, I think it will be a test of true friendship. I believe Facebook has made us lazy. "I wonder how Jane is doing? Well let me check her profile." click-click-click. 7 times out of 10 the status updates and profile posts don't tell the true story.

My use for Facebook will be for professional purposes. That way there is no confusion about how I approach my page and what content is appropriate. For me the boundary must be clear in order to maintain my sanity.

Thank you.