I joined Facebook in 2006. I remember clearly because I was recuperating from major surgery, pretty much bed bound and bored. After I joined, I found a whole new world with old friends and acquaintances waiting to reconnect. And to get in my business.
For the most part my Facebook experience has been great, but there are a few problems I have with our increasing connection to Facebook and the disconnect from basic human interaction. Facebook isn't the only culprit, there are many technological reasons for the human disconnect. Be it texting, Twittering, Instagraming. Look around at how many heads are down and focused on tiny smartphone screens tunneling their lives into a less than 5 inch screen. A chiropractor's dream!
In fact, I tend to question and shy away from anything that creates a massive following without question. Not much for drinking the kool aid anymore. Besides, sometimes the BS factor involved in the whole scene is a little too much for me to stomach.
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There was a conservative religious phase I went through a few years back (I touched on this in a previous post). When I responded to a friend's post on Facebook a former religious leader saw my profile picture and questioned my friend about how I was dressed. Then went on to question my spiritual strength, and on and on. WAIT. Excuse me? Back in the day this person wouldn't have access to any of my pictures. I mean honestly that religious leader should not have been on Facebook if he listened to his own sermons. OUCH. Thank you Facebook.
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Just because there are 20-30 friends in common between us, it doesn't mean WE should be Facebook friends. I stopped accepting requests from strangers no matter how many Facebook friends we had in common. I knew it was too much when someone yelled my name in the middle of Times Square, I turn around and didn't recognize the person. We were Facebook friends. Embarrassing!
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I always felt the need to censor myself, because inevitably there would be some smart ass who would hijack my status updates. Usually these were people I didn't know in person or many years had passed since we connected. Some of my posts were taken out of context or where misunderstood completely. This is when I discovered the limited and restricted profile functions.
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I am an actor and inevitably Facebook friend-ed actors or others in the industry. I could have been dead or held hostage by zombies but did they know? Nope. They are more interested in posting show information all over MY WALL. It's like going over to a friends' house without permission to paint their walls. A very ugly color. The nerve. Facebook can be less about friends and more about self promotion.
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This has brought me to my final conclusion. As I decrease my friend list to less than 35, one fact remains. Those who are my friends will be my friends regardless of our friendship status on Facebook. In fact, I think it will be a test of true friendship. I believe Facebook has made us lazy. "I wonder how Jane is doing? Well let me check her profile." click-click-click. 7 times out of 10 the status updates and profile posts don't tell the true story.
My use for Facebook will be for professional purposes. That way there is no confusion about how I approach my page and what content is appropriate. For me the boundary must be clear in order to maintain my sanity.
Thank you.
Well said. I completely agree! You've touched on so many of the reasons why I do not maintain a personal FB page. I finally came to the realization that my true friends will be my friends regardless of whether or not I had a facebook page.
ReplyDeleteTo each his/her own. I largely agree with the points in your post and have myself become less personal and more about business on Facebook. At the end of the day there are benefits to connecting with people we may have otherwise never met and an unfortunate 'disconnect effect' from our physical interpersonal selves. With all things, we need balance in this life.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great read lovely. Trying to start off fresh and had deleted my old acct that had over 5,000 friends
ReplyDeleteThis post provided a lot of food for thought. I friended you because we had met at one of the Sloan-Kettering concerts and my primary interest in Facebook has always been to curry and comb my identity as a singer, which, believe me, as it is not a livelihood and is of zero interest to my significant other and of minimal interest to my close friends, gets very little currying and combing. I would say I have gotten more good than bad out of it. I use it to vent, and to post updates about things I am singing, concerts I am planning, etc. I get a chance to look at the Facebook page from the church where I am an (unpaid) soloist and kvell over the fact that my Youtube video of Wagner's "Angel" song has gotten more hits than anything else they have posted there. From time to time I have pondered cutting my friends list. There are a number of singers I have friended (not you!) who have never acknowledged that I exist. They don't comment on my posts, or even on most of the comments I make to their updates. So a propos of a lot of these people I am very clear where I stand with them. I often think if I had more self esteem I would remove them from my friends list full stop. But I can't see giving up Facebook. For me it isn't a substitute for interacting with people in real life, it's more of a consolation prize because I'm housebound so much of the time, working at home in a mind numbing job and spending large chunks of the weekend taking care of someone elderly and ill humored much of the time. It is a breath of fresh air. I just have to be careful that it doesn't overpower me with resentment of how little real fresh air I'm actually able to get right now.
ReplyDeleteI OVERstand you on this, Sina.
ReplyDeleteI know that wherever either of us may be, we will remain connected, FB or no...that is good enough for me.
ReplyDeleteLove to you, my friend.
Thank you friends :-)
ReplyDeleteWell said! I've struggled with the Facebook question myself and chose to adopt social media late in the game as I sorted out the way I wanted to use it. I've decided that social media, including Facebook, is primarily a business tool for me--although I have people I count as "real-life" friends as my FB friends. Sometimes the lines are blurred and that can be a blessing, like when I get to be friends with someone who was a professional contact before. So, go ahead--sign off. I know where to find you.
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