2013 Reflection - Wait and See!

My previous year end reflections have been filled with paragraph after paragraph of accomplishments. Reading them makes me dizzy. 

2013 started with a move from NYC to LA. I was less concerned with career or monetary gain and more concerned with nicer weather and a slower pace.

So much for slow.

I landed in LA.

Within two weeks I had a place to live, a car and a full time job. By spring I had my apartment all set up, although it's still purposely sparse.

The community building was and is the hardest part. Unlike NYC getting plugged into a community in LA is difficult. It's isolating and lonely, which is strange for me. Three months into my arrival I realized making friends was not going to happen. People in LA don't have the best follow up skills. So after last minute cancelled plans and folks plain ole ignoring my texts/calls, I started going solo. I took regular beach visits, hikes, and simply explored my new city.

Alone time was multiplied when I lost my full time job in September. Having a place to go everyday allowed me to feel apart of something and connect with people. Otherwise I could spend day after day as a crabby hermit. I haven't been without work for more than a month since I got out of college, so I thought a new job would materialize quickly. I thought wrong, four months later and I'm still without full time work.

The slower pace plus the loss of full time work created the perfect catalyst for spiritual and personal reflection.

I was forced to stop.

In NYC 16-18 hour days were normal. In addition to working a full time and part time job, I had rehearsals, classes or performances at night. That was beginning to happen in LA as well. 

The last few months have revealed more of myself than I thought possible. Portions of the belief system thrust upon me by others has been broken down. As a result, I feel even more free to be me, plus I'm making choices based on what I personally believe. I have been able to rest, not just sleep but moments where I can sit with a cup of tea and not think about the time or where I need to go in a hurry. I didn't even rest like this after surgery in 2006, I was preparing new songs to sing for auditions and performances.

I participated in the 21-day meditation challenge which has opened up the world of mediation to me. I have continued beyond the 21 days on my own which has been really helpful during this uncertain time. I'm at a point where I am willing to live with minimal material items in order to live a life of simplicity. I am also willing to reassess my goals as a performer (more on that later). This year has allowed me to simply reassess life. For the first time I cannot say what 2014 will bring because this journey has allowed me to start letting go of expectations.

I think I will just wait and see...

My Christmas Wish

It's been a long time since I made a Christmas list. As a child I wrote down everything I dreamed of as I combed through thick catalogues filled with toys. I didn't get everything I wanted but Santa (or Mom and Dad) did a pretty good job.

I don't remember what I asked for, I don't even remember what I received. Wait, I do remember the Barbie Dream Pool and the pink Huffy Bicycle. Lately, material items are not as important, instead I appreciate the love of family and close friends. 

With that in mind, here is my adult Christmas wish list...

I wish for an overwhelming, overflowing amount of love, joy, peace, blessings and abundance in every single area of life. 

And this is my wish for you too!

Happy Holidays!

From Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inaugural Speech

Original Quote by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us!

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do. 

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.

And as we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others!